Got a Prospective Buyer or Seller? Do This (It’s NOT What You Think)

by Laurie Gilmore

If you’ve been around Performance Coaching for a while, you know we have ONE goal for you: to build a repeat and referral business where you are your clients’ Trusted Advisor. 

It’s about being in a relationship, NOT chasing deals. That relationship begins with the very first conversation, so it cannot be overstated: your process around those first conversations is CRUCIAL to your future success and your quality of life.

As we always say…

It’s not a sin to lose business. It’s a sin to take a LONG TIME to lose business.

That powerful statement comes from Chris Voss, the creator of Tactical Empathy, and it cuts right to the heart of our tendency to chase after deals—no matter how low the probability of success—and to do so at a moment’s notice. 

We run out to sellers’ homes to give free consulting and serve as their due diligence, and we run around town to meet up with unknown buyers who have no interest in forging an exclusive relationship, always living on the hope that they’ll choose to purchase the property at which we opened the door for them.

We’re at a crossroads right now in terms of how we develop our relationships with buyers. 

We can embrace this opportunity to elevate our professionalism, set standards, and shore up the processes that support our standards…or we can fall even deeper into the cycle of chasing and convincing and living on hope.

Over the past months, we’ve seen so much energy being expended by agents working to find ways to retain the status quo. To look for a way out or a way around. To avoid, to the greatest extent possible, dealing with change. 

To avoid having the tough conversations.

What if we head in the opposite direction and EMBRACE this change to the greatest extent possible? 

There has never been a more ideal moment for us to up our game as buyer’s agents. 

Now that we’re required to have a signed agreement with our buyers…

Now that we’re required to negotiate our fee with our buyers…

Why not take the opportunity to establish the standard that we will work with buyers ONLY at the same professional level at which we have always worked with sellers? 

That means focusing solely on the Exclusive Buyer Representation Agreement, and having the discussion around professional representation with a prospective buyer, at the START of the relationship, just as we would with any seller. 

It means NOT kicking the can down the road by snagging someone with a non-exclusive viewing agreement (or whatever document your market offers as an alternative to an exclusive agreement) in hopes that they’ll choose to purchase the property you’ve shown them as opposed to the property another agent has shown them. 

A non-exclusive agreement secures your position as a commodity rather than a trusted advisor. 

If you’re completely honest with yourself, doesn’t that make it a bit tough to unequivocally perform your fiduciary duties?  

If you’re completely honest with yourself, is there any reason other than fear—fear of loss and fear of a tough conversation—that would lead you to pursue a non-exclusive client relationship?

This business is all about having tough conversations. Building and sustaining relationships is all about having tough conversations…

And Tactical Empathy is made for navigating tough conversations in a way that cultivates relationships in the most powerful way possible.

The agents who coach with us learn very quickly how to discover whether or not a prospective client is their client within the course of ONE 15-minute Zoom call. 

This is one of the most impactful shifts you can make in your day to day business processes in terms of saving countless hours of your time while avoiding untold emotional stress and heartbreak—now more than ever.

There’s a simple framework for this New Client Discovery Call.

The framework is the same for sellers and for buyers.

It’s efficient and effective.

From the very first moment of contact you set yourself apart from the crowd by employing Tactical Empathy rather than selling opportunity and pitching value propositions.

So rather than picking up the phone whenever it rings and jumping in whatever direction the stranger on the other end of the phone wants you to jump, when you have an initial inquiry on the phone or via email, set your process in motion by asking:

“Would you be opposed to finding 15-minutes for a Zoom conversation for us to meet face to face, and explore whether or not we might be a good fit?”

Already you’re setting yourself apart from the pack. You’re demonstrating that you’re a professional with a process rather than someone who is scrambling for any business that comes your way.

Using the New Client Discovery framework in your first contact with a prospective client will set you off on the right path toward becoming your client’s Trusted Advisor rather than a commodity.

We break the framework down into 3 distinct sections based on the questions being explored at each stage of the conversation:

1️⃣ Is there a deal here?

In this phase, you’re discovering whether or not this person is a real, “now” buyer or seller. 

But before you get on that call, remember the crucial step of emptying your bucket. That means letting go of your needs and your expectations, letting go of your focus on the outcome, so that you can truly cross the street and be fully present for this other person. So that you can enter with a mindset of curiosity, and work as hard as you can and as fast as possible to remove yourself as a threat.

You do that by starting off the conversation asking them to share what they’re thinking and feeling. 

What led them to this timing? What is their vision of how this process will unfold? What is their ideal outcome? What’s most important to them? What are they most concerned about? 

This phase is all about establishing rapport, getting all of their hopes, dreams and fears out on the table and making them feel understood. 

Notice that you are NOT pitching your value proposition here. You’re not talking about yourself at all. In fact, you’re not doing much talking. You are doing the very important work of listening at the highest level so that you can truly take in what is being communicated to you, both verbally and non-verbally, so that you can label those thoughts, feelings and dynamics and articulate your understanding back to the prospective client. 

2️⃣ Is there a deal here for me?

In this phase, you’re discovering whether or not this is YOUR client. 

By approaching this with a mindset of curiosity rather than a mindset of fear you’ll discover whether you are the Favorite or the Fool. 

You’re asking them to share what they want in an agent, so that you both can determine whether or not you are that agent. 

How do they see an agent fitting into their vision? What are they looking for, specifically, in an agent? What don’t they want in an agent? And WHY have they called you?

You’re looking for “proof of life.” Are they speaking about you, someone else, or agents in general? 

This is where you’ll discover if you’re just serving as due diligence. If you’re the Favorite you move forward, if you’re the Fool you “send them off in a limo” and get back to your real work without wasting any more of your time.

3️⃣ Do I want this deal?

In this phase, you’re discovering whether or not this person/deal is in alignment with your standards. 

You’re presenting your standards in order to discover, right up front, whether or not there are any deal breakers for this prospective client in the way that you work. 

Notice that it’s not until this section that you reference yourself at all!

With sellers, this is when you’ll present your fee along with any standards you have for preparation, or any other specifics about the way that you work. 

With buyers this is where you’ll address your fee, your standard length of commitment and you’ll present the Exclusive Buyer Representation Agreement.

If you truly have a standard, it is a standard for each and every client. So if this client’s needs are not in alignment with your standards, you “send them off in a limo.” This is the part of the conversation that lets you take control of your business and your life.

By employing the skills of Tactical Empathy throughout this conversation, you’re immediately building trust and setting the groundwork for the rest of your relationship—with all of your standards in place.

This framework is your guide, and it follows a logical and important sequence. 

First, you let them speak, make them feel understood, and establish rapport—all of which must happen before you can assess “proof of life.” Proof of life, in turn, must come before your presentation of standards, because there’s no need to determine whether you want the deal until you know whether the deal is being offered to you.

That being said, it’s important to remember that you’re interacting with another human being. 

The skills of Tactical Empathy that you employ throughout the framework need to be fluid, so that when you sense what the other side needs, you give them that skill. 

Your main job is always to be LISTENING and paying attention, and to be AUTHENTIC in your interaction as you guide your prospective client where the two of you need to go in order to determine whether or not you’re a good fit.

Over the next few weeks we’re going to dive more deeply into each section and discuss the art of moving through a framework while remaining responsive to the other person’s needs.

In the meantime, if you have a burning question, ask it here! This is our new Ask the Coaches page, where we’ll be collecting questions and posting answers to them every month.