The Dangerous Addiction Every Real Estate Agent Just Can’t Quit

by Steve Shull

At the risk of sounding totally arrogant and obnoxious…

I can read your mind, {{ first_name }}.

You’re thinking: If I can just close this deal…if I can just sign another client…if I can just sell a few more homes…everything will be okay.

I know because I’ve talked to hundreds of agents a week, and I’ve been doing this for 32 years.

Virtually EVERY agent is thinking the same thing. They’re ALL obsessed with chasing dollar bills and deals. They’re addicted to it.

What they don’t understand (no matter how many times I say it) is this…

IT’S A TRAP.

I don’t care how many homes you sell. I don’t care how much money you make. 

It will NEVER be enough.

I know agents who do hundreds of deals a year and take home millions of dollars, and they STILL have the same thoughts…

If I can just do a little more, everything will be okay.

Sometimes, for brief moments (usually right after a deal closes), they DO feel okay…until they don’t anymore. And let me be clear, they spend the vast majority of their time feeling NOT okay. 

The problem isn’t their efforts or their results…

It’s their MINDSET.

This is going to sound like a gross exaggeration…

In their minds, they believe that if they don’t do another deal, they’re going to DIE.

Don’t laugh—you’re doing it too. No one thinks of it in those terms consciously, but that’s what’s going on. Your survival instincts are telling you…

If I don’t do another deal, my business will fail…I’ll go broke…everyone will abandon me…I’ll end up on the street…I’ll starve…I’ll DIE.

That’s the survival mindset, the fear-based mindset, and it’s a powerful thing. It will keep you trapped forever if you let it, and most agents do.

But let me ask you something… 

If that mindset hasn’t gotten you to where you want to be in life by now, how is it going to work tomorrow?

Until you’re willing to acknowledge that chasing is a trap, and that you’re caught in it, nothing is going to change. 

The simple fact is, CHASING DOESN’T WORK. 

It’s a flawed strategy. It’s a treadmill to nowhere. You will work your ass off every day and stay stuck in the same place for years, for decades, forever.

So the question is, why does everybody do it?

We chase because we WORRY.

Our survival brain is always thinking about what else can go wrong. We sincerely believe that if we think about those things—if we worry about them—we can prevent them.

The problem is, the list of things that can go wrong is ENDLESS. 

As soon as we cross off one item, there’s another, and another, and another…so we NEVER get to stop worrying. We never get to feel okay.

The irony is, no matter where you are in life, you ARE okay—you just don’t realize it.

How do I know? 

Because you’re here now. You’re alive in this world. Compared to the alternative, which is NOT being here…wouldn’t you agree that this is better?

But as long as you’re worried about not being okay, you’re not going to FEEL okay.

You’ll be in a constant state of struggle against the outside world, trying to make it conform to your inner desires and wishes. 

That is NOT going to happen.

It’s just not. That’s not how the world works. Life is gonna do what it’s gonna do, regardless of how we feel about it.

So we can spend the rest of our lives trying to change reality or protect ourselves from it (which won’t work)…

Or spend the rest of our lives giving our personal best to the moment that’s unfolding in front of us right now.

That’s the human predicament. That choice defines your experience of life.

A while back, I faced a reality that went very much against my personal preferences: skin cancer.

When I got the initial diagnosis, we didn’t have all the details yet. We didn’t know what kind it was, whether it had spread, or whether it posed a serious threat to my life. (Spoiler alert: I’m fine.)

My survival brain wanted to panic. It wanted to ask all the what-if questions and worry me into a state of total despair. 

It would have been very easy to give into that fear…but no amount of freaking out would make anything better. 

It would only make everything WORSE. It would make me miserable. It would scare my loved ones. It would make it harder for me to make clear-headed decisions. It would create stress that would further undermine my physical health. 

So instead, I chose to let those worries go and focus on giving my best to the moment in front of me—and that meant enjoying and appreciating my time on Earth, however much that would be. 

And to bring this back to real estate…

Everything I teach about the 6 Building Blocks of building a sustainable, scalable, stress-free real estate business… 

All that will go in one ear and out the other as long as you’re trying to get the outside world to conform to your preferences. 

The moment you can embrace what is, no matter what it is, and give your best to the moment in front of you…then and only then will you be able to focus on the 6 Building Blocks.

That’s why the Mindset of Harmony is the FIRST Building Block!

And let me be clear: when you have been living your whole life with a survival mindset, switching to a Mindset of Harmony will NOT happen overnight.

It takes practice—consistent effort over time, with feedback to keep you on track.

Because it’s easy to embrace what’s in front of you and give your best when you LIKE what’s in front of you…

But when you DON’T like what’s in front of you, your survival brain is going to come knocking. In those moments, it takes SKILL to stay calm…and you will NOT succeed if you have not been practicing. 

If you’re still telling yourself it will all be okay if you can just do another deal…

(And I know you are…)

It’s time to get out of the trap.

Only YOU can get you out. Nobody can do it for you…

But we CAN help you—and that’s what Performance Coaching is all about. That’s what our coaching is specifically designed to do.

If you haven’t experienced it yet, join us for 14 days for FREE, and take the first steps off that treadmill to nowhere.