The One Thing That Will Make or Break Your Success in Real Estate

I recently listened to a podcast with Rich Roll and Tom Shadyac, the director of Ace Ventura, Liar Liar, Bruce Almighty, and the Nutty Professor movies. Tom was wildly successful in Hollywood, but he walked away from it all to pursue a more meaningful and fulfilling life. 

But that’s not what I want to talk about today. I want to talk about something Tom said at the beginning of the conversation that dropped my jaw to the floor…

“What changes a life more than anything is a RELATIONSHIP.”

Believe it or not, this statement has EVERYTHING to do with your career as a real estate agent.

At Performance Coaching, we say it again and again and again: real estate is a repeat and referral business, driven by relationships and fueled by human connection.

The very foundation of your business is in cultivating relationships. It’s the ONE THING you most need to do. It will make or break your success.

But, as is so typical in life, the thing you need the most is the thing you resist the most.

Here’s what typically happens when you’re in a deal with a client…

For the 90 days or so that you’re actively working with them, you’re in bed together. It’s an intimate relationship. And by the end, either they’re sick of you, you’re sick of them, or you’re not quite sure what to do.

So the deal closes, and you have every intention of calling them to acknowledge the closing… 

But of course, that day gets super busy, and you don’t do it.

You say you’ll do it tomorrow…but tomorrow you’re busy again.

Then the next day comes, and you’re already feeling a little guilty for not calling 2 days ago. Your guilt gets the best of you, and you don’t pick up the phone.

Then it’s a week later, and you feel REALLY guilty.

A week turns into a month…

A month turns into a year…

A year turns into a decade…

And you never hear from that client again.

They never do another deal with you or refer anyone to you, all because you didn’t have a transition plan for those first 90 days.

If you want to predict how successful you’ll be in your career—if you want one indicator of what’s to come for you—look at the 90-day window when an active client becomes a past client.

What you do in those 90 days sets the tone for your entire career. It’s either putting you on the path to a vibrant repeat and referral business…

Or it’s putting you on the treadmill to nowhere.

This is where your CRM comes into play.

You need a closing action plan that creates a seamless transition for the client. It starts on closing day, when you call the client and perhaps send a gift.

Then you call again a week after closing…3 weeks after closing…7 weeks after closing…90 days after closing…

And from then on, you keep reaching out every 90 days just to stay in touch.

These are NOT real estate calls—they are RELATIONSHIP calls.

You’re just checking in to see how they’re doing and what’s new, exactly like you would with a friend or family member…

And therein lies the reason you don’t want to pick up the phone and dial, even though you know you should.

It’s because you haven’t made the commitment to be in a relationship with your clients.

All you really want from these people is a deal, and you know it. To call them up and pretend otherwise feels inauthentic—so you don’t want to do it.

Let me slow down and repeat myself, because this is important.

When you have a transactional mindset, you engage with people from a position of self-interest and fear. It makes you feel slimy and fake, so you avoid doing it. As a result, you fail to build relationships and doom yourself to 30+ years of chasing strangers.

All because you’re afraid to connect at a human level.

I know, relationships are not easy. To build a relationship, you have to be vulnerable, let your walls down, and allow people to see who you really are.

You also have to take a genuine interest in the other person, pay attention to them, and invest time and energy into showing that you care about them.

You never know which of these investments will pan out.

Some relationships will disappoint you—that’s inevitable. Things change, people leave, nothing lasts forever. 

But others will compound over time. One great relationship might generate dozens of deals through repeat and referral business over the course of a few decades.

You can’t tell which is which ahead of time—you have to just make the commitment to build the relationship and see what happens.

So now, you have a choice to make: are you going to engage with your clients on a transactional level or a relationship level?

As you’re answering that question, remember: how you connect with people as a human being is how they remember you.

If you don’t make a commitment to engage people at the human level, you’re wasting your career. No matter how many homes you sell, you’re not going to accomplish anything of significance. 

When we drill down to the core, the real estate business is about one thing: cultivating human relationships.

If you’re not willing to go there, my advice is to get out now.

Ultimately, the key to success in life, what unleashes your fullest potential, is doing the things you don’t want to do.

As long as you’re not willing to do that, you will not tap into your true power. 

That means you’re not living—you’re just surviving. All you’re gonna do is suffer. If that’s what you want to do with your life, good luck.

At Performance Coaching, we coach to living, not surviving.

Focusing on how you do business, not how much business you do.

Being in a relationship, not chasing a deal.

And there’s nothing more powerful for nurturing relationships than Tactical Empathy: the skill of building trust with others by making them feel understood.

We have 3 NEW Tactical Empathy training programs launching in the next few weeks, so if you’re ready to be in a relationship with your clients, click the button ⬇️ to learn more and sign up.

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