The RIGHT Way to Present the Exclusive Buyer Agreement

by Laurie Gilmore

Tomorrow is August 17th—a day that real estate agents have been fearing for months. The day things change.

You’ve heard us say many times that change is the mother of all fear, and that fear is the single most powerful motivator of human behavior.

This is a crucial moment for us to be aware of the fear that buyers are likely to have about this change, and it’s a crucial moment in which to be mindful of our own fearful human nature as real estate agents.

As agents, our ever-present fear of loss has skyrocketed at the prospect that our businesses will shrink, and that we’re all destined for a massive pay cut.

From the buyer’s perspective, chances are they’ve heard or read something about the situation. What they’ve heard will have undoubtedly left them somewhat confused about how representation and payment will work going forward, and it’s safe to say that whatever they’ve read will have surely been unflattering to real estate agents, raising the level of distrust that has always colored the perception of our industry.

How do we mitigate the fear, confront the uncertainty, defuse the negativity, and most importantly, grow trust?

By embracing Tactical Empathy.

(Don't forget, we have 3 NEW programs designed specifically to help you master this skill—check them out HERE.) 

The two pillars that support Tactical Empathy are: Removing yourself as a threat and Curiosity.

In any conversation where you want or need something, your counterpart perceives you as a threat—whether they realize it or not.

Every potential client you talk to knows that you want or need something from them, so everyone is looking at you as a threat. They have their guard up. They expect that, as a salesperson (particularly as a real estate agent) you will enter the conversation explaining, pitching gain, and pitching opportunity. That’s what they’re bracing themselves for, which is part of the reason they’re defensive. 

With Tactical Empathy, you are going to flip the script. 

You’re going to start the conversation with a prospective client by asking them to share what they think.

We’ve talked a lot, recently, about the importance of sequence in terms of letting someone else speak first. By now you’re beginning to understand that by extending the olive branch first, we are both creating rapport and helping to clear the other person’s mind so that they are able to fully consider what you have to say once it’s your turn to speak. 

Add to that this critical factor: Until the other person feels understood by you, you are a threat to them. 

Their default setting is, “This person does not know me. They are unlikely to act in my best interest.” It’s a natural stress response.

You want to enter the conversation with a mindset of curiosity, from the very first moment, and work as hard as you can, and as fast as possible, to remove yourself as a psychological threat.

So, when it’s time to address the elephant in the room—the Exclusive Buyer Representation Agreement—engage them like no other salesperson… 

Start by finding out what they’re thinking. 

That may sound something like:

“There have been some changes in the industry lately. You’ve probably heard or read something about the recent lawsuits and the NAR Settlement. You probably have a vision as to how this may have changed the real estate process.

Would you be opposed to walking me through your vision of this, whatever that may be?”

They may have a lot to say, or very little. It’s unlikely that whatever they say will line up with the realities of the environment. That’s not what’s important. What’s important is that you let them go first. You’re already ahead of the pack. 

*NOTE: Don’t make substitutions for the word, “vision”. The word is intentional. It serves to elicit much more robust and illustrative responses than a word like “thoughts.” Having a hard time wrapping your mouth around this kind of language? Feeling silly? Great, you’re learning.

Listen closely to what they say. 

Label, mirror and paraphrase. Pick out any positives that work in your favor and label them. 

When it’s your turn to speak, be ready to deal with the things they mentioned that diverge from the realities of the environment. 

Start by asking permission to share your perspective with a question like:

“Would you be opposed to me walking you through the realities of the current environment?”

Once they give you permission to continue, insert some Accusations Audits before you start explaining (low and slow, and let each one land):

“It’s probably going to sound very confusing”

“I know it’s going to sound very expensive.”

“You’re probably scared to death you’re going to be taken advantage of during the course of this process.”

I’m sure the idea of uttering these statements makes you very uncomfortable. This is the ultimate form of Tactical Empath—when you articulate things that the other person has not articulated for themselves. You’re a mind reader. 

Not only that, but you are shining a negative light on yourself and telling the other person, “I’m not afraid of conveying to you what you're probably thinking about this conversation and about this process.” You are instantly showing yourself to be honest, straightforward, and brave. You are demonstrating, unequivocally, that you are not someone who will sugar-coat or spin hard truths to your own advantage. 

You are removing yourself as a threat.

Label and mirror any response, and then continue, low and slow, in your Analyst tone:

“Here’s the main point of the settlement:

Compensation is negotiable and should always be negotiated between agents and the clients they represent. 

In the past, sellers have negotiated—with their listing agent—one fee that was split between the two brokers on the transaction.

Now listing agents will negotiate their fee with their seller.

Buyers agents will negotiate their fee with their buyer.

Each client is responsible for paying their agent’s fee at the closing table.”

I know that, as you are reading this, you’re thinking, “WHY aren’t you leading with the likelihood that the seller will still offer to pay the buyer broker’s fee, or that it can be negotiated?” 

Because we are going for the bottom line—the truth. 

The truth is that you don’t know what will happen. You do know that this is the bottom line. If, from the outset of this transition, our strategy is to focus our attention on the exceptions to the rule, what will our strategy be if (when) less and less sellers choose to offer or to negotiate buyer broker commission payments over time? 

Start as you mean to continue. The bottom line is that the buyer is engaging a professional, and that professional charges a fee. If they would only be able to engage your services if someone else is footing the bill, this is not your client.

Check in to see if they’re following you:

“Before I go into detail about my fee, I know you have questions about what I just said.”

As always, the right tone is crucial here. Be mindful to offer that statement from a place of authentic curiosity and empathy, and not to allow it to sound as if you’re judging their ability to comprehend.

Label and mirror any response. 

When it’s clear they’re ready for you to continue, start with an introduction about agent standards:

“It’s important that you know that compensation is not set within the industry, but each individual agent may have their own standard.”

Pause. 

Deliver a couple of powerful Accusations Audits:

“This might be a deal-breaker for you.”

Pause

“I. Am. Really.  Expensive.”

Pause. 

Again, I know that you are reading this and thinking, “Are you kidding me?!? WHY would you say that you’re really expensive?”  

Because when you say that, the prospective client immediately begins to imagine the worst. Their mind races to very high numbers. Whatever you say after that will seem less expensive than they feared. (Yes, practicing Tactical Empathy at the highest level does take guts.)

Then present your standard:

“My standard is X%.”

Pause. Continue when appropriate:

“You would pay that fee at the closing table.

There are ways in which it can be negotiated with the seller in your offer, and some sellers may offer compensation as a marketing incentive, but the default is that you pay the full fee at closing.”

Pause. Label and mirror as appropriate. 

If they push for details about how likely it is that the fee can be negotiated, or how that might work, you can keep the focus where it belongs with something like:

“It sounds like you’re eager to understand all the potential scenarios of commission payment. I would love to share that with you. I will absolutely guide you through all of the negotiation processes, step by step, once we establish our working relationship.”

Continue on to see if they’re still with you:

“So, knowing now, that you are ultimately responsible for paying my fee, are you opposed to formally moving forward with me as your trusted advisor?” 

If you have been paying close attention throughout this interaction, if you’ve been labeling their verbal and non-verbal cues, you should have a good sense as to whether or not they’re ready to sign, or if you need to prepare to exit gracefully. (We’ll go into various objections and exit scenarios in the coming weeks).

If they’re not opposed to moving forward, walk them through the main points of the document:

“Our next step would be to sign the Exclusive Buyer Representation Agreement.  

Very similar to the Exclusive Listing Agreements we have with sellers.

The document covers 3 things:

It outlines my fiduciary duty to you

It defines our relationship as one of exclusivity for a period of X months.

It states my fee for service which is x%”

When should you have this conversation? 

Ideally after you’ve established rapport with the prospective buyer, you’ve listened closely to their hopes and dreams and fears, you’ve articulated your understanding of those hopes, dreams and fears, and you’ve established that you’d like to work together. You’ve determined that you are the favorite. 

We’ll review the New Client Discovery Framework in the coming weeks. We’ll get into a lot more discussion around the kinds of questions and objections you may encounter, and we’ll continue to collaborate with all of our agents to perfect our strategies as we all work our way through this change together.

We don’t know how this situation is going to unfold. 

Different markets, and different brokerages will have differing requirements for you to follow.

Agents will have different approaches. 

What we do know is that this is what the skills of Tactical Empathy are made for: collaborating and working things out, especially when you don’t have answers.

The 2 pillars of Tactical Empathy—Removing yourself as a threat and Curiosity—could not be more perfectly matched to this moment.

NOW is the time to commit to mastering this skill.

That’s why we’re launching 3 NEW programs to help you do exactly that.

The Tactical Empathy Bootcamp with me (Laurie Gilmore) is a 10-week comprehensive course in the fundamental concepts and tools of Tactical Empathy.

This is for you if you’re new to Tactical Empathy or want to strengthen the foundation of your practice.

Role Play with Sean and Lorin provides structured practice and feedback 4x a week in an interactive, small group setting.

This daily practice program is for you if you want to learn fast and be held accountable for making consistent progress.

Role Play with David also provides structured practice and feedback in a small group, but just once a week.

This weekly practice is for you if you need a more budget-friendly option, or if you’re already advanced with Tactical Empathy and want to keep your skills sharp.

CLICK HERE to explore these 3 options and choose the one that’s the best fit for you!