Want to Master Tactical Empathy in 2025?

As we embark on this new year, I want to take us back to basics and refocus on something fundamental that often gets overlooked in our eagerness to master the tools and techniques of Tactical Empathy.

What exactly IS empathy?

You've probably heard this a thousand times: "Empathy is putting yourself in someone else's shoes."

But that definition is not only incomplete—it's potentially misleading.

True empathy is seeing the world through another person's eyes and demonstrating understanding of their thoughts and feelings. The focus is all on the other person.   

This is distinctly different from sympathy, which IS about putting yourself in their shoes and feeling what they feel.

When you sympathize, you're getting in touch with YOUR thoughts and feelings about their situation. You're making it about you.

Think about that distinction for a moment. Really let it sink in.

When practicing Tactical Empathy, we are NOT:

• Trying to feel what they feel
• Sharing our own similar experiences
• Making judgments about their perspective
• Attempting to fix their problems
• Taking on their emotions as our own

We ARE: 

• Listening deeply to understand their view
• Observing their verbal and non-verbal cues
• Articulating our understanding back to them
• Letting them know we see their perspective
• Keeping the focus entirely on them

This understanding is absolutely crucial because it frees us to engage authentically with others even when we fundamentally disagree with them or don't share their feelings about a situation.

You don't have to agree to understand.

You don't have to approve to acknowledge.

You don't have to share their feelings to articulate them.

This is why Tactical Empathy is such a powerful tool for negotiation and influence. By removing the need for agreement or shared feelings, it allows us to build rapport and trust even in challenging situations. 

But here's where many agents get tripped up...

They hear "Tactical Empathy" and focus entirely on the "tactical" part—the tools, the frameworks, the specific language patterns. They want to know exactly what to say and when to say it.

While those tools are important, they miss the point entirely if we don't first master genuine empathy—the ability to truly see and understand another person's perspective without judgment or agenda.

Think about how this plays out in real estate:

A seller insists on pricing their home 20% above market value. The old you might have:

• Felt frustrated with their unreasonableness
• Tried to convince them they're wrong
• Shared stories about other overpriced listings
• Gotten defensive about your expertise
• Taken their resistance personally

 But with true empathy as your foundation, you:

• Get curious about their perspective
• Listen for the hopes and fears driving their position
• Seek to understand why this price makes sense to them
• Acknowledge their thoughts and feelings without judgment
• Keep the focus on their goals and concerns

The difference is profound. 

In the first scenario, you're caught up in your own thoughts and feelings. You're trying to control the outcome. You're making it about you.

In the second scenario, you're fully present with your client. You're seeking to understand. You're making it about them.

This shift in focus—from self to other—is the essence of empathy and the foundation of all effective Tactical Empathy.

As you move into 2025, I challenge you to:

• Notice when you slip into sympathy instead of empathy
• Catch yourself when you make it about you
• Practice seeing situations purely from the other's view
• Let go of your need to agree or disagree
• Focus solely on understanding and acknowledgment

Remember: The tools of Tactical Empathy are powerful, but they're only as effective as the empathy underlying them. Master true empathy first, and the tactical application will follow naturally.

This is your foundation for everything else we'll explore together this year.

Because at its heart, Tactical Empathy isn't just a negotiation technique—it's a more effective way of connecting with other human beings. And that starts with truly understanding what empathy is and isn't. 

Make Empathy your super power in 2025!